Props 2 You

We had taken a large group of students to the State One-Act Competition. They

performed amazingly well. They nailed their lines and timing. Their blocking was

smooth and flowing. The audience responded with tears and thunderous applause.

And when we met them right afterward backstage, they were … pissed.

“What’s going on? You guys were great! Why are you glaring at each other?”

“Because Becca, Becca … ate my prop!”

Yep. That’s right. The prop we used for the bakery scene, the bread roll, was eaten by

a cast member. The same bread roll we used for regionals two weeks prior and the

same bread roll we used for district two weeks prior to that. The bread roll handled by

many, many relatively unsanitary teens. The bread roll that had the same shape and

structural integrity as a shot put. That prop. We didn’t see that coming.

The fact of the matter is, if there is a wrong way to use or treat a prop, someone in the

cast will do it. That is why you need someone in charge of props. If you are involved in

low-production cost plays like us, that person is the director. The following is a list of all

the mistakes my wife and I have made in the area of props, so that you do not need to

replicate them. Learn from our mistakes.

Have Props at Rehearsal

Have your props ready at the beginning of your scheduled rehearsals, not on

opening night. It is better that your actors get familiar with the prop before the

performance. We had a rubber chicken as a prop (yep, our plays are DEEP) and

our actor was so excited that she squeezed the chicken with such force that the

head popped off, freezing everyone on stage and in the audience as they tracked

its trajectory. Granted, it was the highlight of the comedy, but it was still a

distraction.

No Real Weapons

Never, never, never use real swords, axes, hammers, knives, etc. on stage. I

was the assistant director when we used a real sledgehammer for the destruction

of robots in a scene. No play or competition is worth the risk of serious injury.

No play or competition is worth the ulcer I got through the run of that play. Even

the audience senses when a production is unsafe, and their worry interferes with

their full immersion into the play.

Reflect on Using Reflective Props

Avoid reflective surfaces. Do you have a magic mirror? Make it gray. Otherwise

you will have to supply each audience member with a pinhole viewer so that they

do not damage their retinas during that scene.

DON'T Let Them Have Cake

Avoid consumable props. Use wax fruit. Nope, scratch that. Use plastic fruit.

Strangely enough, wax fruit is consumable. Don’t use any props that can

disappear when actors are hungry. And don’t use any props that actors can use

to spread a stomach virus. We want “the run of the show” to have one meaning,

and one meaning only.

Chalk Outline

Make a prop table with an outline of the prop that goes there. We just get

butcher block paper and outline it with a heavy marker. It’s the same principle as

outlining a pegboard with a tool’s shape to make sure it makes its way back

there. Actors have been known to toss their props in the weirdest places: under

a set piece, in the dressing room, or atop a toilet stall. This way you can quickly

see which prop is missing and what to look for.

One Prop Parent

Make the actors responsible for their own props and severely punish anyone else

who handles that prop. Make an example of the first person who does this.

Gone are the days when severe, or sever, punishment was the result of theft.

But we found that sarcasm works almost as well.

Prop BOLO

Make sure you get your props back. You’re going to use them again. Since one

actor was responsible for each prop, that is where you start. Of course you will

get the whole, “But I left it on the prop table,” line. That leads us to the most

important prop.

Actors Lie

The polygraph machine. Actors lie about props. Always. But if you’ve got the

threat of them being hooked up to a machine that gets all twitchy with even the

thought of a falsehood, they keep a better eye on their props. Of course, many

theater departments don’t have the budget for a polygraph machine. We’ve

found that tasers are much cheaper.

Of course, this is not a comprehensive list of all the mistakes we made with props. I

was given an 800-word limit for this blog. But if you don’t make these mistakes, it will

save you money and aggravation. And you will be better directors than my wife and I.

So, props to you!